Friday, September 18, 2015

So You Want To Go To... Portland, Maine

Welcome to the first in a series of travel recommendations for my favorite spots around the globe.

As a frequent traveler, sometimes I can't help myself when a friend posts a call for help on Facebook.  "Hey friends, have you been to [place]?  Any recs???"  Why yes, yes I do have some recs.  It's one of my favorite things about travel: sharing my experiences with friends and hoping they are smart enough (ha!) to take my advice.  [Thanks for the push, Kyle K.!]

Since I find myself typing them up -- over and over and over again -- I thought, “Why don't I just make a pdf of my recommendations and send that out?"  Or a blog post.


Portland Head Light 

Portland, Maine, is one of the coolest spots in the Northeast at the moment.  Most notably because of their food and booze scene.  There are so many options.  Many of which are well worth the 2+ hour drive from Boston.  Sure, there are hipsters (but this is not the other Portland), but this Portland is still on the up-and-up, a perfect mix of fresh innovation, old New England tourism, and just a little whiff of hipster stink.  There's also enough small-town, coastal New England activity (art museum, mansions, a lighthouse, the ocean, salt water taffy) to keep you occupied in those moments between noshing and boozing.  

On my frequent trips to Portland, I usually bring friends and we usually stay for just a day.  If you get there by 10am and leave after dinner, you can pack a lot into 12 hours.  If you have time for a full weekend, my typical manic scheduling can be spread out over a relaxing 48 hour period.


Disclaimer: as with any recommendations, this is only how I do things.  This is not exhaustive, this is not all there is to do in Portland.  Hell, I can't even claim that this is the best-of-the-best.  However, this is what I spend my time on, what I drive 2 hours to experience, time and time again, with friends and family.


So you want to go to Portland?  Here's what I like to do:

First, decide where you're going to eat and build your day around those aspirations.  Whether you're a "foodie" or one of those people who orders chicken breast no matter where you're dining, Portland has options.  I'm going to leave those chicken breasters on their own and focus on folks who want a little more out of their dining.

1.) BREAKFAST/BRUNCH:

I cannot stress this enough: you must -- MUST -- go to Bintliff's.  It's a new American diner in a crooked old house.  There's a crazy wait if you get there at the wrong time (I suggest going as early as possible) but it's so worth it.  Upside: you can have coffee while you're waiting,  Their Bloody Mary is sublime: full-bodied, bursting with tomato and horseradish, with enough celery to ensure you'll have no problems passing everything you're going to consume on this trip in one smooth, fibrous go.  Their home fries are stunning: a mix of red, white, and sweet, herbed to perfection.  Their standard fare is great (pancakes, corned beef hash, etc) but the eggs Benedict varieties are the stars.  My fave is Andouille sausage on a corn cake smothered in sauce.  With those home fries on the side and a Bloody Mary to wash it all down?  Have mercy and die a happy death.  I come here every single time I am in Portland and have this dish.  Not to oversell it or anything.



Crab Cake Bennies
Andouille on Corn Cake Bennies Heaven
Corned Beef Hash Meatz Craze
Bloody Mary/Salad with Tomato Sauce

If you don't want brunch (or want to change it up on day 2), Standard Baking Co. is the big name in town (right on the waterfront).  Brave the crowds, grab a box of pastries/breads/cakes to go, and enjoy at your leisure.  Madeleines, tarts, and their breads sometime sell out.  They're that good.


2.) LUNCH/AFTERNOON SNACK:

If you've done any research at all (or hit up your friends), then you've heard of Duck Fat, where they cook things in the delicious oily run-off of that beloved water fowl.  You're probably still full from brunch, so keep it simple: duck fat fries and beignets dusted in powdered sugar with chocolate dipping sauce are the way to go.  There's other food, but it's typical pub grub, so I wouldn't waste stomach space here.  Great stop for an afternoon munch, either before happy hour or dinner.  Something to tide you over.

If you want cheap raw oysters, J's Oysters is the way to go.  Right ON the water (I think you could actually toss your used shells into the sea!) and across from the stores that line the waterfront.  Dirt cheap oysters and crappy beer are served by friendly staff in this run-down townie joint where you'll probably catch something from touching one of the patrons.  The floors are crooked too.  It's worth the price and the charm of crusty local flavor.  You can tell your foodie friends that it was super authentic because you dined with actual locals and it was, like, so so dirty.  [Insta-worthy!]



Slurp-a-durp!

There's another cool spot for an afternoon snack, but their booze is killer too.  So peep the libations section below for a lil' taste...


3.) DINNER: 

Unfortunately (fortunately?), there's a lot of choice here and you'll hear a lot of different recommendations from different people.  At the fore (lol) is Fore Street, which is the big time heavy-hitter on the scene here.  With that comes some hype and potential for being "overrated" -- I personally haven't been here -- but I know a lot of people who have -- and loved it -- so I throw the name out here.  It's super popular so there must be a reason.

From experience, I can tell you Five Fifty Five (555) is pretty good.  It's another standard new American place (think: steak, lobster mac and cheese, salmon for the health nuts).  The only issue I foresee is that it's just nothing new, like many of the restaurants in town with high TripAdvisor rankings.  That being said: if you are looking for something new and completely revolutionary...

vinland.  Oh. My. God.  Preface: I eat a lot and I travel exclusively for food sometimes.  I am a black hole for good noms and booze and I love nothing more than eating.  So here and now, I will place my first blog Certificate of Excellence on this place and vouch that it is, bar none, one of the coolest and most creative restaurants I've ever been to in the entire world.  

If you're into food, you know about a little place in Denmark called noma.  It's currently the #1 restaurant in the world (until it closes next year, *sob*). The head chef of vinland staged there and got a bunch of the ideas, which is complete local sourcing.  What does that mean for you? 

Everything is from a specific radius around Portland, including wildflowers, lichen and moss.  Fresh, organic, totally eco.  There's a 5-plate tasting menu for $60, where you can choose from the entire available menu (multiple mains, if you can stomach them).  Five plates may not seem like enough, but I was bursting when we finished our meal.  My buddy got the wine pairing menu, which is not advised unless you can put down multiple glasses of wine in addition to your food.  And still stand up straight afterwards.  There are limits to YOLO.



vinland

If you want a truly unique experience for the New England area and for this amazingly low price, I highly highly highly recommend this place.  Feel free to TripAdvisor-verify my claims (Yelp can suck it).  Even if the menu on your night isn't what you expected, chances are you've never had a meal like this in your life.

Basically, there's a wealth of other restaurants in town, so I do recommend going through the TripAdvisor listings and see which places might be up your alley.  Japanese, Thai, Italian, Chinese fusion: Portland does not lack food options (though the abundance of homeless people downtown may have you believe otherwise...).  Do some digging for what you like.  And then go to vinland.



Locally-sourced Bliss

Now that you've figured out where you want to dine, think about where you want to get sloppy. 

There are numerous breweries in town (and brew pubs!) and no shortage of options for getting wasted.  There are also some cool hidden nooks.  Here are my favorites when it comes to loosening up:

1.) COCKTAILS:

If you want to be at the forefront of the scene, head to Portland Hunt + Alpine Club.  They're relatively new to town, complete with bearded hipster bartenders and a really sleek design, but don't let that veneer fool you.  The cocktails are creative, strong and aren't too overpriced.  The bartenders are so knowledgeable that you can ask them for recommendations; they may even craft something especially for your tastes.  Nibbles are also top notch (think "stuff on bread") and well worth a snack-stop.  They have a happy hour, which I'd recommend if you want to save a little money and have something to do before dinner.


Booze and Bites

2.) BEER: 

Honestly, there's just too much.  Allagash is the biggie and they offer tours and have a decent parking lot.  It's a little outside of town and will give you an experience similar to Sam Adams or Harpoon.  Check website for tour times and bring your growlers.  They also hold parties for special brew releases, which are usually packed with beer-snobs.



Crispy
Sultry
 
Rising Tide brewery is closer to the action downtown (Fox Street) and is quite modest: you walk in and see the entire operation right in front of you (they even have their kids helping).  There's a small bar and a few stools.  No frills.  Get in, drink a flight, buy some if you like it, GTFO.  If you don't feel like wasting time on a brew tour at Allagash (they're really all the same, aren't they?) and want to keep driving to a minimum, this is the place to go.  Plus you can combo it into a sort of Portland Round Robin with the following...



Enjoy a flight!

3.) HARD STUFF:

Maine Craft distillery (rum, whisky, vodka) is right next door to Rising Tide. They're pretty new and have great stuff (very young whiskys, if you like it sharp but flavorful).  You can taste their offerings at the ramshackle bar and there are sporadic distillery tours offered too.  But just cut the crap and drink.


Maine Craft Distillery
Fifty-Stone rocks (-_____-)
 
4.) MEAD:

Finally -- and my favorite -- there's the mead.  That's honey wine.  And it's divine.  Maine Meadworks is approximately 2 seconds from Rising Tide and Maine Craft Distillery and they have tastings of all their yummy honey wine (lavender and blueberry are the popular ones, but if they have the "apple ciser" you MUST try some... tastes like apple juice, has an insane ABV that is very very dangerous).  The staff are some of the friendliest hipsters in town and, in addition to offering you tastes of all their mead, they can give you great tips for your day.  Pro tip: if they're out of anything in particular (see: apple ciser), they can point you toward any number of liquor stores in town.  Lovely folks.



Rainbow of Mead

Oh and also: Rising Tide, Maine Craft and Meadworks are all free to enter and sample.  Easiest way to get shitfaced on a Saturday (or Tuesday, as it may be) afternoon.

I'm full just thinking of all these options (and starting to slur my words from all that booze), but you might also want to see some stuff while in town.  I won't hold it against you.
Now, I'm from the Boston area.  As far as I'm concerned, that's where you should be sightseeing.  If you're from New England, Portland will offer nothing new.  There's water, there's souvenir shops, there's a lot of white people wearing Vinyard Vines and Sperry's, there's seagulls.  We know this.  I'm here to stuff shit down my gullet.  But if you're from out of town and have never felt the charm of a coastal New England port town (cough *go to Newburyport or Portsmouth or Gloucester or the Cape* cough), here is what I can offer:

First, you'll probably enjoy walking around the port area and the downtown touristy strip.  There's some cool kitchen suppliers, a salt store, some clothing boutiques, souvenir shops, overpriced stuff all over the place.  There's froyo and Alex and Ani for your teen daughters.  There's novelty shirts and pirate shit for your naughty ones.  It's a good distraction between food stops.  For something a little further out, cross the bridge and head toward the coast to the Portland Head Light.  The lighthouse itself is very pretty and it's surrounded by a modest ocean walkway.  Then there's a big grassy open-air field place where you could potentially picnic or just relax and enjoy the salt air.  Go, park, wander around, dodge the kites and kids running around.  Sometimes there's food trucks, if you can stomach anything more.

That should keep you quite busy for a day or a weekend.  There's also an art museum, some mansions, and plenty of other activities.  So if eating and drinking are not as high up on your list of "musts," you'll have plenty of other things to distract yourself.

On my most recent day-trip (August 2014), my buddy and I did the following: Bintliff's, Maine Meadworks, Rising Tide, Maine Craft distillery, J's oysters, Hunt + Alpine, and THEN vinland.  Needless to say, my comrade was blasted on the ride home and I had to make an emergency pit-stop at a rest area (use your imagination).  Totally worth it all.  Enjoy your trip to Portland.



Hopefully the weather cooperates with you...


Addendum: sometimes on the way to/fro, I stop in Portsmouth, NH.  There's a submarine (which you can walk through!) and a nice waterfront park.  Also an old library downtown (see: athaneum).  I love Portsmouth because it can be a short visit or a full day trip.  It never disappoints if you just want a couple hour diversion on the coast.  Walking across the bridge from NH to Maine is also cool, since you can tell folks that you walked from New Hampshire to Maine.  Who doesn't want that? [Editor's note: So You Want To Go To Portsmouth, NH forthcoming...]